Monday, 16 July 2012

the old wives' tale of mlm



dawg,

Not sure how well versed you are with old wives' tales (folklore) of the UK but maybe you heard of St Swithin's day?

Who was St Swithin?

A Saxon Bishop of Winchester, born in the Kingdom of Wessex and educated in it's capital, Winchester. He was famous for charitable gifts and building churches

What about him?

Legend has it, as he lay on his deathbed, he asked to be buried out doors so he could be stood on and rained on. Maybe some kind of fetish there? I don't know.

For nine years, his wishes were followed. But the Monks of Winchester attempted to remove his remains to a shrine inside the cathedral on the 15th July 971

They say there was a heavy rain storm during the ceremony and down pours continued for 40 days and 40 nights due to the Bishop being completely fucked off at having his remains dug up and moved after 9 years.

Old Wives' tale

This led to the old wives' tale of, any time it rains on July 15th in the UK, it will piss down for 40 days and 40 nights.

Crock of shyt on 2 counts.

The Met office have proved it wrong time and time again.

Oh, and it's the UK, it ALWAYS rains!

I guess it's pretty cool to hatch stories of legend based on things which happened in the past.

Happens in the MLM world too.

I remember attending events and something I was told to do was...

Always carry products in the boot of the car.

Another story born out of legend.

Once upon a time (actual true story) there was a distributor for xyz company. He had just driven to the company warehouse and picked up a massive order of product. about $4000 or so.

As he was driving home, (no idea how he got it all in his car) he stopped for fuel. Another customer of the fuel station noticed a flyer on his car and they got speaking.

Turned out the guy was looking for products and bought the whole freekin order from him!!!

And with that...

A New Marketing strategy was born.

All the little clones squawking the importance of keeping product in your boot of your car...

'Just Incase'...

lolz

Fuck off!

Get on the list

Get a consultation

Then we will build for you, a traffic campaign which will end your traffic issues...

FOREVER!

Go Here <~~

love ya
ewan

hunny I'm home! with cheap leads :p



Hello pimp,

Got me some hate mail earlier today. Not the usual kind.

I mean, it was still hate mail but it was from someone who actual likes me and in all fairness, I deserved it :p

J.S wrote in earlier...

Dude, whats going on? It's been like 6 days since you wrote a story. I want entertained bro! haha Very few emails do I look forward to getting, but yours are funny, insightful and right on point. Start writing man otherwise I might end up being sucked back in by the preaching IM crowd.

So there ya have it. 

I don't often disappear, and never for 6 days at a time but...

No buts, I just been busy.

It's not that I think you're second best, or I don't love you so much anymore (no homo tho)

I been busy building PPC campaigns and managing accounts for clients.

And if you're not one of them clients yet...

Why the fuck not? :P

Hey, if you're broke and have to spend all your time on the free stuff, then I guess it's cool. No, it's actually not cool, it sucks.

Having to scrape around Facebook etc hoping for some free leads is just dumb!

No matter what dip shyt gooroo tells you how you can get 50-100 free leads a day, they're lying.

They're lying outta the hole in their ass

100 PPC leads a day for free?

Now we're talking. When I say free, I mean you have to initially pay the search engine for them but if you monetize it correctly then they're free.

Agree?

Set an account live for a client the other day and before I had even touched it...

40 cent leads! 

That's why you should let us do traffic for you.

Get on my ~~> Mailing List

love ya
ewan

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

it's true, facebook does steal your nutz



Hello,

Was reading an article today on Mashable titled, Women win Facebook.
They say it's 58% females to 42% men. In America alone, it's 56% ladeeez, that's 81 million of them. 

That would fill every sports stadium in the US of A more than 7 times. 

I don't think it was always this way.

See, Ben Settle wrote an article a while back, 'Don't Let Facebook Steal Your Balls' it was about the constant emotional whining by blokes. It's ok when women do it cos that's just what they do :P 
But not blokes!

I think Facebook once had more men, but since they been hanging out on Facebook with all those 'emotional females'...

...'Facebook Really Did Steal Their Balls' !!!

Men are also twice as likely to post something on Facebook, they later regret!

Look, I love Facebook, I can keep in touch with my buddies from all over the world, I can snoop on people, see what they're up to (for research purposes obviously) 

But...

What really funks me off with Facebook

...is all the dip shyts who think they can spam their crap all over it, groups, status updates and private mails about how, if I just click on their link, all my troubles will just disappear.

Infact whats worse, is the idiots who teach it :o

C'mon seriously, really think you can build a million $ empire posting the odd status update?

There is a far better way to build your business.

Booking a consultation with us is probably one of the best.

With zero bias, we will brainstorm for you, a business you can get passionate about. A business that's legal. We can even build your website and write you sales getting content! Hellz, we can even jam your sales funnel with visitors.

PPC visitors (gasp)


NOW! :)

Love ya
ewan

yea, I know, no homo ;)

you already know this deep down...





Here's an interesting point. The reality is you're NEVER going to be able to sell to everyone.





You can't even make yourself happy all the time, so how can you possibly sell to everyone?





So I say,  NEVER sell to people, period. 


Why not?


People HATE being sold to.


I certainly do, fucks me right off, especially when the seller clearly has no clue!


But here's the good news ...


... they LOVE to buy.


Grasp this fundamental point, then you can start doing things right. 


Load off your mind? 


You don't need to be a sales ninja. In fact that's the last thing you want to be. People will smell you coming a mile off. They'll sense the desperation in your voice, your manner, your body language.


Even if you force a few sales, you'll just be met with complaints and refunds.


So don't do it.


I have a secret for you. Getting the highest conversion rate from traffic to sales, starts waaaay before you even write an ad.


It's in a process not even known to the majority of home bidiniz peeples. They're too busy running about shouting how amazing their product is, how they have the best opportunity ever and re posting their favourite gooroo's Facebook updates.


You need a...


sales funnel jammed full of people 


...who want to buy what you offer.


That's why hiring experts to take care of your 'selling' process is the choice of real entreprenuers.


Why put yourself through the learning frustrations of building websites, trying to get traffic and writing content specific to your market.


Hiring experts allows you to concentrate on your area of expertise.


And allows your customers to buy, in their own time, if and when it suits them.


Beautiful, idn't it


Hop on our mailing list and book a consultation with us so we can lay the 3 fundamentals that will turn your business profitable




lots of love
ewan

(no homo tho) :p

Saturday, 7 July 2012

2 cent PPC leads?

Hello mucker

I have for you today, a fun story about turning cold traffic into leads.

At Yaghi Labs, it's my task to manage paid traffic for clients.

I get started with a new client the other day and while I'm waiting for the last few keywords to be uploaded into his account, I gets me this email from him...


Also, not sure if you saw my email to Jim,  but the account thats running the ads is this one:

user: ******************
pass: ******************

The other (**********) account I'm not running anything in right now and want to leave it inactive.


Nothing exciting I hear you say. But when I signed into the correct account, expecting to turn the campaign on.

I nearly shyt my thong!

The campaign had been live for a day, since I was looking in the wrong account, I hadn't noticed.

The stats shocked me.

$4.38 leads, campaign wide.

Here, take a look



Most marketers in the good old days of the Google Goldrush had an actual orgasm had they been getting anywhere close to $5 leads...

After months of optimising!!!

When I dug deeper inside certain adgroups, I smiled even further...


100% CTR's and 100% conversion stats

2 days later, I have overall lead cost at $3.63 per lead.

One keyword had churned out a 2 cent lead, WTF?!

Schweeeeeeet like big mamma's pumpkin pie!

Anyway, here's the deal

  • Our research & traffic team build for you, laser targeted Pay Per Click campaigns

  • Our design team build for you, a high converting landing page

  • Our writing team build for you, 10 creative follow up emails you can use as you please

  • Then our technical team set it all up for you.

How fucking awesome is that?

Isn't it time you stopped buying dip-shyt DIY gooroo courses and just let the experts handle stuff?

Here's where to go next


Can't wait to start managing your paid traffic :p

love ya
ewan

Friday, 6 July 2012

why our consultations are better than yours



Hello,

Had this guy ask me why I charge $147 for a consultation. Said he could get consultations all over the biz pop industry...

For FREE!

Lolz

No ya can't.

What you can get is a 'free 15 minute lemme try sell you my biz pop' consultation.

Not quite the same thing is it homeslice?

There's only one person these things are there to serve and idn't you!

So why do we charge?

Because it's a service. It's there to serve you. It's not some 'secret pitch' where I'm trying to serve myself by selling you on joining my biz pop, cos I don't have one.

Sure it serves me, I get some pesos for my efforts. But you pay upfront and once it's paid, it's all about you babeeee.

You are hiring me, my experience!

I'm gonna poke and prod, maybe in some places where it hurts too but it's awwwwwwlllll for the greater good of you, not me.

We'll extract so much information on your skillz, passionz and experteeze...

We'll have you a real, unique business, that's legal :p

One you can even advertise on the ppc engines, like Google and Bing (gasp)

Look, most people around the home biz world don't have a fuckin clue. Even when they think they have a clue, they don't!

And if you're following all the dip-ship 'I'm a leader' gooroo crap then you're gonna have even less of a clue.

In what other industry do 'entrepreneurs' run around, commenting on EVERY status update telling their favourite gooroo how awesome they are?

What the fuck is that all about? 

So do yourself a favour, book a consultation with no hidden agenda, right now!

You been pissing about waaay to long now without making money.


love ya
ewan

ps, you will me too after your consultation (no homo tho)


Thursday, 5 July 2012

this will fugk you up



haha, gotta laugh at those sheeps.

Always popping up on my Facebook chat, all like,

so I got this really cool thing, never seen anything like it before 

And then proceed to...

Explain the company plan 

How this one got rich

How that one made that

How this guy only got started 2 months ago and he already got him a gabazillion buck cheque, or check, if you from US of A (happy 4th of July day to ya celebrating how ya used to have your independence) :p

One major flaw...

Its never seems to be the one doing the pitching with the income story to tell, funny that.

You gotta feel sorry for them too though. I mean, they are so far off the mark it's embarrassing.

How did they get the notion this, uhm, tactic is even gonna make them a sale?

I know they just want to make their business profitable but if they were to divert all their determination into doing something worthwhile

They would make some profit

What someone makes doing something has little to no relevance at all. If they idn't got an interest then it doesn't matter what you say.

Quite often, I get friends who ARE making decent money with a biz pop and I still dont want to join them. Just the other day, a massive earner was quitting Herbalife to join another company and wanted to take me along.

But building a down line is the LAST thing I want to be doing.

There is an actual boat load of people actively looking for what you have, right now. If you know how to offer it up in the way they want it.

That's why you should book yourself in for a consultation. We will thrash out an angle for you to hit your market with, so your unique and sexy. Oh, and legal :p

A business you can get passionate about

It will require hard work and effort on your part though, a profitable business idn't easy. Simple, but not easy.

Once we put you back on the tracks, you can grab your business by the hairs on it's ass and direct it towards the people who want it.

We can even help you get gangs of traffic.


love ya
ewan


Monday, 2 July 2012

love watching them eat their words



Hello,

Watch the Euro 2012 final last night? 

Awesome. I feel for Italy a little though as they almost put up a good fight.

I said since the start of the campaign, I felt Spain would keep their crown. Turns out I was right.

Football amazes me, it's a game of opinions, like home biz and indeed life in general. It's fascinating how two people's opinion can vary so much. At various points throughout the tournament I got involved in some fun debates regarding the way Spain play. Some fans say they are boring to watch and it's not in the spirit of football.

Before I give you my point, and listen up cos there's a good message in it for all ye home biz players, I think you should read this short article I came across earlier while I was searching for stats on the competition. 

You can read the full article here if you want


But this is the main bit I wanted to show

Statistics can be a wonderful thing. They can be studied and scrutinised in the smallest detail, used to provide answers and presented as facts. If you look at Spain’s statistics during the EURO 2012 campaign so far, you would think that they have been the best team in the tournament in some way, a team that have swatted aside any team that dares to inhabit the same pitch as them. But as George Canning, who is the shortest serving Prime Minister in history, once said: “I can prove anything by statistics except the truth.” This applies brilliantly to Vicente del Bosque’s team.

For the truth is, Spain have been anything but inspiring and brilliant. Sure, they have completed 3386 passes, at a competition rate of 80 percent, scored eight goals (only one behind the Germans), had 49 attempts on target and had 40 corners, but they haven’t managed to set pulses racing. Their semi-final against Portugal was one of the most boring football matches in the tournament so far. There was only one attempt on target during the 120 minutes, despite Spain’s 57 percent possession, seven corners and a pass completion of 75 percent out of the 758 passes made. And it didn’t make a blind bit of difference.
Del Bosque's experiment of playing without a proper striker is failing. Spain may be making a lot of passes, and it may all look good on the stat sheet, but that’s not enough. Too many of the passes are going sideways or back, which is because they don’t have a player prepared to run off the shoulder of the last defender like a striker does. Creativity is great in midfield, but if there isn’t anyone on the pitch in the position to capitalise on then the goals won’t come. And without goals, you can’t win competitions. Ah, you might say, Spain has the second highest amount of goals scored in the competition so far. That’s true, but if you take away the four goals scored against a poor Ireland team, that leaves them with four goals from four games, a poor return from such dominant stats.

So I'd love to know what the author of this piece was smoking, he contradicts every fucking statement he makes, disgruntled Englishman I reckon :D

Yes, turns out Spain WERE indeed the best team at the tournament. maybe the Spain Portugal game was boring to start with, but it ended in a penalty shoot out, which I'm sure you'll agree are highly entertaining and, oh yea, Spain won :p

Playing without a striker is clearly not working? hahaha, they scored 12 goals, 16 if you count the penalties and, oh yea, Spain won :p

Ask anyone who plays football... 

They will agree completely, if you keep the ball away from the other team, they can't hurt you. Spain do this with great effect. It wears the other team down, burns their energy and frustrates them. 


The rules are set by FIFA and as long as you play within those rules, it's 100% up to you how you play.

Personally, I don't think Spain are boring to watch, The technical ability of the team is frightening. They're all confident in possession of the ball, all great passers of the ball, they work hard as a team, they're hungry to win. There doesn't seem to be any ego's

They play as a team.

However I can see why people say they are...

It's the same in life 

People want to be entertained, there's no discipline. Money comes in and goes straight out. People buy all sorts they cant afford by using credit.

Goes for the home business world too.

People are looking for that 'sexy thing' that will, overnight, turn them into a raging success. They try one method for a couple days, it doesn't yield massive results OVERNIGHT so they hop to the next thing.

Doing the basics extremely well, like Spain do is the answer to running a successful business. It's the answer to becoming a success at anything. 

Look at some of Spains honours...

  • Spain are the first European side to win three consecutive major tournaments - Euro 2008, the 2010 World Cup and Euro 2012.


  • Spain are unbeaten in their last 12 European Championship final matches - nine wins, three draws - a competition record.


  • Vicente del Bosque's side have not conceded a goal in their last five European Championship matches, a new competition record.


  • Spain keeper Iker Casillas equalled Edwin van der Sar's record of nine clean sheets at the Euros.


  • Casillas has won 100 of his 137 international matches, becoming the first player to reach a century of international wins. He also holds the world record with 79 clean sheets.


  • Spain's winning margin of four goals is the biggest ever recorded in a World Cup or European Championship final.


  • Spain ended with 52% possession overall and outpassed Italy 529 to 451.


  • Fernando Torres is the first player to score in two European Championship finals. He also won the golden boot.


  • Spain are only the third team to have scored twice before half-time in a European Championship final


Not bad for labelled as boring huh?

Yes sometimes it repetitive and boring, and it's why most people muddle along, never really getting anywhere.

With football, there is no right or wrong answer, but I guess results are proof. Some say it's not right to put winning before entertainment, WTF? They clearly support a shyt team who doesn't win much.

But what matters in your life and business? 

Would you rather entertain and conform to people's opinion of how it should be done?

Or would you rather go against the grain, do the basics well and achieve the results, the massive success you want?

Booking a consultation with us will set you on the right path to taking the basic steps everyday to turn your home business profitable.



lots of luv
ewan